Your life may be peppered with battles, confusion and tears, yet it’s in the quiet moments when you can lift yourself out of your attachment to the drama that you’ll find the gems.
The gems I’m talking about are the nuggets of treasured wisdom, or what I like to call your genius, weaved into the tapestry of your life.
These gems, when discovered, can lead you on a whole new path in your life. A path that’s more in line with who you really are deep down.
“We don’t receive wisdom; we must discover it for ourselves after a journey that no one can take for us or spare us.” - Marcel Proust
I can recall the exact time when I started the journey back to who I really am. It started with my father.
My father was such an open hearted man. He had a mustache that accentuated a smile that would light up a room! He was the kind of man that no matter who came to our home, they were welcomed and treated to a glass of his treasured homemade wine.
He characterized the different wines he made.
Most often, you’d get the “happy” wine. Inevitably, his wine made us all very happy.
Once in a while, he’d realize, after the fact, that he'd brought out the “crying” wine. This wine, of course, led to discussions that brought out some honest emotions.
Special occasions always called for his special wine, named after my mother. He’d say, “Now we’re going to have a special one. It’s Rina’s wine.”
He’d been through a lot in his life and taught me many things. Whatever difficulty I was going through, he’d tell me, “Lu, never give up.” And tears would well up in his eyes, just the way they did in mine. (We must’ve had the crying wine.)
In the early morning of my fortieth birthday he passed away. I felt my world come crashing down around me. Witnessing his illness and decline was something I’d never experienced before. He was such a strong man.
After the funeral, on a cloudy chilly December day with a cold rain drizzling down at the cemetery, I was still in a daze.
Everyone started walking back to their cars when it was finished. I was surprised to see everyone walking away. And out of the blue, I turned to my family and friends and shouted, “We can’t just leave him here!”.
Someone came along to bring me into the waiting limousine.
This was the turning point when my life began to change course.
I had spent years trying to please the people around me. Inside I felt unsatisfied, lost, and had low self esteem. I didn't even really know myself - what I wanted, my values, my beliefs.
I had troubled relationships and depression had slowly set in, just waiting to be acknowledged.
When my dad died, I felt like I was hit by a ton of bricks and being here just felt so hard.
GEM NUMBER ONE
I tried antidepressants and I hated that they made me feel flat emotionally. I came to realize I didn’t want to depend on something outside myself to function.
I thought, if I was put here to live on this earth, I must be equipped to somehow rise above anything that might bring me down.
My father’s words would echo in my mind, “Never give up, Lu”.
I went on a quest.
GEM NUMBER TWO
One day I was in a bookstore searching for a self help book that could give me some insight into how to lift myself out of this depression.
I knew there had to be more I wasn’t aware of and amidst the raw scent of printed paper I began a search.
Silently, I asked, “Dad, help me find the right book”. I squatted down looking at titles and behind me I heard something. I turned and saw a book had literally fallen off the shelf.
It was a spiritual book on archetypes and as I picked it up, I felt my whole body resonate with it. So I started there.
GEM NUMBER THREE
A couple years later, while scrolling through my timeline on facebook, I noticed the ads on the right hand side which I made a point of never clicking on.
However, this time an ad came up that I felt my whole body respond to. One of those moments where time stands still and the ad seemed to grow bigger and jump out towards me.
By this time, I’d read a lot of spiritual books and had gone through some Divine One teachings through a beautifully orchestrated encounter with someone who is now a very dear friend.
So, I’d learned to pay attention to these signals my body was giving me. In the past, I’d just disregard them as being insignificant. I remember times when my stomach would tighten so much and I’d just dismiss it.
Despite my usual stance on ad clicking, I listened to my body and went for it. It turned out to be the very thing that would help me reunite my mind, body and spirit.
It was a year long course towards certification to be a Creative Mindfulness Coach and Practitioner.
After using the tools I learned, the a-ha moments kept on coming. Moments when my body, mind and spirit all resonated in unison.
People had commented that I looked younger and more comfortable with myself.
“Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.” - Aristotle
I learned about myself and was able to change beliefs that weren’t mine, notice and change the voice in my head to be more kind, learned how to dissolve long held beliefs that I wasn’t even aware of, valuing the different sides of me, reconnecting with my intuition and curiosity, etc.
Together with the spiritual teachings of Oneness, I now held the tools to offer this unique gift to others who may be in a similar situation to:
Understand themselves better - their values and beliefs
Reconnect to their intuition and the signals from their bodies
Light up with curiosity, play and more
I witnessed people have the same kind of bodily experiences of a-ha moments that shifted their perceptions and helped them see life slightly differently. They were able to release stuck emotions they forgot were there, yet holding them back from being who they truly are.
Their eyes revealed a spark that said, “It’s okay to be fully who I am. I can just be me - I’m enough! I don’t have to carry this guilt, shame, blame, judgment, etc. anymore.”
I’m glad I never gave up on myself and so are my clients.
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Wow this story you have shared about yourself and your journey towards healing is inspirational! Thank you for bringing hope to the hurting ♥️!