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Writer's pictureLucy Crisetig

How I Loved Myself Enough to be Vulnerable and Discovered My Resilience

Feeling the pressure to get things done or overwhelmed with to do’s and deadlines do create a stressful environment. I get it.

Woman discovering her resilience at the ocean

However, there’s a lot more to stress which you may not have realized before.


We’ve become accustomed to blaming stress as an outside force that’s making you feel a certain way. “If only I didn’t have this stress.” “I have all this stress on me.” "My _____ (job, kids, boss, husband, family, etc.) make me so stressed!"


When in fact, stress is created by the emotions you’re feeling about a situation. It’s an inside job.

Learning how to shift your perspective to realize your own capability to release the stress in your body, is the key to beginning to heal and live your life in a more resilient and empowered way.


Imagine for a minute, being able to bounce back from a really difficult situation feeling unscathed and able to move forward.


The key is, allowing yourself to be vulnerable to your emotions.


That can be a very uncomfortable idea. However, that’s exactly how you begin to release the stress from your body.


I discovered my resilience, very clearly, when my mother passed away. I was definitely upset on my way to her after I got the dreaded phone call. However, the strength of emotion that came bubbling up to the surface when I saw her took me very much by surprise.


The advice I’d heard many times before to “be strong”, “have courage”, all said with good intention, however the objective of that advice was to not get emotional. So I had a choice in that moment. Force these very strong feelings down, in an attempt to look “strong” so other people could feel comfortable, or love myself enough to be vulnerable with my emotions.


Really, I thought I’d be able to “hold it together”. (I find the terms we use really interesting. What exactly are we holding together? Our emotions so the stress can build in our bodies? And why? So others don’t feel uncomfortable? That’s for another article. 😀)


Woman sitting in the forest meditating

I chose to love myself.


In fact, being strong enough and having the courage to allow my vulnerability to show was the answer for healing.


Rather than hold those deep emotions in, I allowed myself to be vulnerable to them. When you do that, you can never be quite sure who will be strong enough to support you. You’re never even quite sure you can support you.


Then comes another choice point. Can you Trust Life and Yourself? (This another article that delves into how to trust yourself.)


Photo by Wix


When you trust yourself and your worthiness, miraculously, the support is there and you find out exactly how strong and resilient you really are.

My husband and son, who were the only other people present, allowed me to have that moment of vulnerability and stood aside. Both strong men.


Instantly, I saw in my mind’s eye, each painful moment I witnessed of my mother suffering, along the three years of her health declining. Each one rose up and left my body, releasing me of the heaviness I could have been left with if I had chosen to “hold it together”.


Those moments were a gift and a blessing that I’m so grateful for. Having the courage to be vulnerable saved me from months and months of grieving and possible depression.


Holding onto stress can affect your:

  • Mental wellbeing

  • Physical wellbeing

  • Cognitive performance

  • Behaviour


And long term or chronic stress can lead to:

  • Anxiety

  • Depression

  • Substance use disorder

  • Disordered eating

  • Disease


There’s a stigma that’s been drilled in our minds about the overly dramatic emotional outburst. Clearly, that’s not the healthy type of stress response I’m speaking of.


I’m talking about an acceptance and release that’s usually done privately and with a soul purpose of deep healing.


Because, here’s the thing, living with stress is not a sign of honour and no one needs to be a martyr. 


Unfortunately, stress has become normalized as something that’s our burden to carry in some way. Yet, when stress builds and we choose to hold onto it, it affects our bodies and minds and can spiral to make life feel debilitating.


When you know how, it can be eased, bringing your mind, body and soul into alignment for more harmony in your life. (I teach you this in my Harmonized Living™ program.)


The result of a study on people who were living in stress, published in Harvard Health Publishing concluded, “Those who held onto stress fared worse than those who let it go.”


Accepting the fact that you can’t hold all the emotional stress you’re feeling, in your body, is the first step to being resilient to life’s experiences. Being vulnerable is showing yourself how strong and courageous you can be.


Love yourself enough to be vulnerable and show yourself how resilient you can be.


Then forward this article to a friend who could benefit from it. :)

Harmonized Living™ Program

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