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  • Writer's pictureLucy Crisetig

Just When You Thought You Had No Choice…

Updated: 2 days ago

Sometimes, stress can make it feel like you have no choice when faced with a decision. It’s either “this” or “worse than this”. Other times there’s no other choice that even occurs to you.

choosing which path to take

That's an effect of the fight-flight-freeze response the body can go into when faced with a very stressful event.


What about those small choices though? We make an average of 35,000 decisions each day and every decision you make impacts yourself or someone else. Even if it’s subtle and barely perceivable – it’s there.


You may even hand over a decision to someone else:

“What do you want to have for supper?”

“I dunno. Whatever you wanna have.”


“What do you want to do tonight?”

“I dunno. What do you wanna do?”

“I dunno. Whatever you wanna do.”


You’ve made the decision to hand over the responsibility of choice when it was offered. Even that was a choice.


Responsibility = your ability to respond.


If we have a responsibility for each decision we make, why have we become so unaware of the impact small decisions have in our lives and in the lives of others?

 

I had a couple of experiences one day that really led me to think about this. Nothing out of the ordinary, in fact, very ordinary. What was extraordinary though, was that I was present enough to feel the impact of the extraordinary.


Have you ever gone for a pedicure and got the usual hooded eyes and distant feeling from the person doing the pedicure? That’s been my usual experience.


This one day was different. It was a new place a friend brought me to. Even the atmosphere inside felt different - kinder.


All I saw were bright open faces. The most significant part was when the pedicurist asked me if I’d like some tea or coffee.


I said, “I’d like some tea please.” That was a kind offer in itself and I felt pleased with that. Although when she came back with the tea was when she left the biggest impact.


Rather than just put it down and walk away, she chose to place it down next to me with care, look me in the eyes, smile, warn me it was still very hot, wait till I acknowledged it, smile again and then turn to walk away.


Each of those steps was a decision. She could’ve chosen to be like the many other pedicurists I’ve experienced. She specifically chose all those ways of being responsible for the energy she sent out.



Later that day, I went out for lunch.


I was struck again by the genuine care the waiter gave my friend and I.


He chose to look us in the eyes when talking to us and taking our orders, engaging us in open hearted conversation, even crouching down to connect with our eyes better.


I felt cared for, seen, and nourished that day… body, mind and soul. And I returned those feelings in how I responded to them.

 

What about every other day?

  • When we’re too stressed to notice how we’re responding

  • When we’re too rushed to pay attention to how it’s affecting others around us

  • When we’re too unconscious to be aware of how the stress is affecting us

  • When we’re not aware we have a choice

smelling sweet wild flowers

I've learned, even when we don’t think we’re choosing or when we think we don’t have a choice – we do.


Every choice we make is sending out an energy or a signal that’s being picked up and touching others around us.


Learning to be mindful of what goes on inside us and around us takes intention and practice.


Imagine if you could help others feel cared for, seen and nourished? What a feeling!


To begin to do that – we must care for, see and nourish ourselves.


Sit in the feeling of that for a minute. How does it feel to care for yourself? To see yourself for who you really are? And to nourish yourself with all the love and support you require?



If we want:

  • More respect from others, then be respectful of ourselves and others.

  • More care from others, then be caring of ourselves and others.

  • Acknowledgement for who we are and what we do, then be that acknowledgment for ourselves and others.

Feeling respect and honour for ourselves when we walk into work. When we're at home with family or out with friends.


Offer products or services with kindness and respect for customers.


Be present with family or friends. Let them know they're being seen.


Pleasant changes will begin to show up. Relationships in business, family or friends will thrive and so will you.


It takes practice and maybe some guidance. I’m here for that, if you choose – just when you thought you had no choice. ;)

 

I'm passionate about helping creative women, like you - ready for some adjustments, to navigate the ups and downs of their life journey, without second guessing themselves, so they can flourish and feel lit up, loving their way through life.


When you're so stressed managing everything expected of you,

some time for yourself can be a huge gift.

I'll be running a dynamic program soon, called, "Harmonized Living™ A Program to Break Stress Programs and Create More Time For You!". Join the waitlist now to be eligible for a 30 Minute Bonus call with Lucy.



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